


Story Time with Demoman

by LittleMissPixieStix



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Fun, Light-Hearted, Pirates, Story within a Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 17:44:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5879929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissPixieStix/pseuds/LittleMissPixieStix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After discovering that he needed more sprockets, having somehow run out in the middle of working, the Engineer had to take an unplanned trip to town.  That meant that someone needed to keep at least an eye on Pyro back at the base.  And, after metaphorically drawing the short straw, Demo's up for babysitting duties.</p>
<p>How’s Demo going to keep Pyro busy enough to not blow the two of them up?  A story might work…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Story Time with Demoman

**Author's Note:**

> You can find this fic on Tumblr: http://littlemissfemscout.tumblr.com/post/128412715587/story-time-with-demoman  
> Likes and reblogs are appreciated, but by no means required. =)

After discovering that he needed more sprockets, having somehow run out in the middle of working, the Engineer had to take an unplanned trip to town.  

Pyro wasn’t allowed to go to town anymore, not after burning a stack of books in the library, not unless they had an dedicated babysitter. Luckily, they didn't care to go to town all that often, which meant that no one had to follow them around there.

What it did mean was that whenever the Texan headed to town, someone needed to keep at least an eye on Pyro back at the base.

After an unfortunate loss at rock, paper, scissors, that's exactly what happened.  The Scotsman had been passed the team torch that was Pyro and now he had the firebug sitting in the corner of his workshop.  The Demoman still needed to get prepared for the coming fight, even if he was on babysitting duty, so the two of them had no choice but to both be in here.   

He had hoped that someone would get Pyro,  but that hadn’t happened.  Right at this moment, his only hope was that the two of them don’t blow themselves, and half of the base, up by accident.

He was doing his best to watch Pyro, but also watch what he was doing. One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch and kablooie, the two of them would be in a million bloody pieces.  

Worse, though, he’d lose all of his supplies in the explosion; he’d respawn, they wouldn’t.  It was in his best interest to try to keep the place intact and flame free.

That was more difficult than it sounded.  Pyro was currently sulking in the corner, annoyed that Engineer had left without much of an early warning.  They hadn’t had much time to prepare for going to sit somewhere with someone else.  They hadn’t even had time to grab their crayons or a sheet of paper before the team shuffled them away into the dark corner of the bases that was Demoman’s workshop. 

 In short, they were not happy.

And a not-happy Pyro was a dangerous one.  

A not-happy Pyro would try to soothe themselves in any way they saw fit.  A not-happy Pyro was one that would try find some kind of fire.

Demo looked up just in time to see them holding a lighter, and he jerked back instinctively before moving to go deal with it.

“Put that bloody thing away ‘fore ye’ kill us both!” He shouted at them, pushing himself up from his desk to go snatch the lighter away from them.

Where they had hidden it, he didn’t know, because he was made them empty their pockets before entering.  There were six lighters currently sitting out by the doorway, and a seventh was about to join them.  With his luck, the eighth one that Pyro may or may not have would be the one to do them both in.

“Listen, I keep tellin’ ye’ that there cannae be any fire in here, Pyro,” He scolded, tossing the lighter out into the hallway before sitting back down, “Yer’ gonna kill us both with a massive explosion if you keep pullin’ those out, d'ya hear me?”

Pyro made a small dejected sound and curled into a small ball in the corner, slumping down with a huff.  Right now, explosions sounded fun.  Just sitting in a corner was boring, they wanted to go do something.  When was Engie coming back?

Taking a look at the sad sight in the corner of of workshop, Demoman sighed.  What was he supposed to do?  He had to take the lighters away to keep them safe, no fire was allowed, and he couldn’t have Pyro fiddling with any of his supplies either.  He needed them to sit in the corner and stay there.  What was he supposed to do?  Tell them a bedtime story?

...Actually, that idea wasn’t half bad.

“Care to hear a story, Pyro?” He asked, leaning in to work on some wires, “Could come up with one if ye’ wanna hear it.”

Pyro, upon hearing the offer, sat upright.  A story?  They _loved_ stories.   

Was he really going to tell them a story?  Oh boy!

It was obvious from the excited muffled noises under the mask that Pyro was thrilled with the idea of a story.  Now Demo had to just try to pull one out of his ass and keep them amused until Engineer came back to the base.

“A story, then, huh?” Demoman said slowly, “Alright then...Doubt you wanna hear about how to make a bomb, right?”

Pyro’s noise of disappoint told him all that he needed to know.  Trying to do any less than an imaginative tale would probably be met with disappointment, and then fire.

“I hear ye’.  That’s a boring story,” Demoman said, stalling for time, “Care to hear the tale of how the great pirate captain Tavish DeGroot defeated the Loch Ness Monster in an epic sea battle?”

Pyro nodded, making eager noises under their mask.  A pirate story?  That sounded fun!

“Right then, uh...One day, a man named Tavish DeGroot was out on his boat in the middle of the sea - he was a pirate captain - and was doing pirate things.  Very piratey things,” Tavish said, focusing on fixing a wire, “The most piratey things that ye’ can imagine-”

“Sssshwwwabbinthhhhddcck?”

“Yeah, things just like that,” Tavish said, straightening up to look at them, “And, let’s see, he was out on the sea, and the one day his first mate - a man named Jane - was up in the crow’s nest and he called out ‘a _aaayyye seeeee the monstaaaah_!’ and he did.  The Loch Ness Monster was right there, preparing ta’ charge the ship and take it down-”

Pyro made a worried noise.  Was the story over already?  Was the monster going to win?

“But then DeGroot, the bravest and handsomest pirate captain, started callin’ out orders.  He told the cabin boy - a thin, wiry fellow with buck teeth - to climb the rigging and start dropping sails.  He had two members of his crew, a large Russian fellow and a smaller German man, start working together to load the cannons.  They have to be loaded just right, otherwise they’ll not fire right, might even explode, and he knew he could trust those two men to get it right.  One of the cannons broke, just out of the blue, just like that, so he had one of the cleverest men on the team, a short man in goggles, go to try to fix it-”

Pyro giggled.  A short man with goggles?  That sounded like Dell.  He also fixed stuff too.  The idea that someone like Engie was in the story about pirates was funny to them.  It would be so silly.

“-There was another man, a loner type, who was good at shooting over a huge long distance with his gun, so DeGroot told him to get ready for a fight and to shoot the beast’s head off.  And there was another man, who was good at up-close fighting, so the captain told him to be ready in case Nessie tried to reach her long neck aboard the boat and snatch one of them,” Demo continued, pausing to taste the explosive powder and make sure it was fresh, “There was another member of his crew, a quiet one who people didn’t know too well, with a dark bandana coverin’ their face up.  One who was good at running past the cannons and lighting them all in one quick run with their torch.  With this team, the captain knew he was going to win the fight, as long as they all tried their best.”

Pyro leaned forward, eager to hear more of the story,.  This sounded like it was going to get exciting really soon!

“Then Nessie attacked!” Tavish said, clenching a fist in front of himself for emphasis, “And it was quite the fight.  The cannons did some damage, but they didn’t get to do much because Nessie swatted ‘em all of with her massive tail in one quick move!  Like pow!”

Pyro leaned back as Demo demonstrated how fluid a motion it was with a sweep of his hand, knocking a bottle off of his crate of a worktable.  That was a strong tail on the monster!

“And the men fought well, watching each other’s backs and keeping each other alive.  One time the Russian man was knocked from his feet, and Nessie moved in close, ready to bite his legs right off, but the German man picked up a sort sword and ram it into her throat, driving her away.  Jane got in a good hit by jumping offa’ the crow’s nest and stabbing her until she threw him off.  He landed on the ship, no worse for the wear.  Nessie then started to get the upper-fin and ram into the ship, and it wasn’t looking good for the crew-”

Demo glanced up from his work, seeing how Pyro was enjoying the story.  The seemed absolutely enthralled, which was wonderful.  They were listening and they wanted to hear more, that was very very good news for him.

“Then the brave captain, who had bee fighting alongside his crew, threw his gun to the side and pulled out his sword - a sword that had been passed down in his family for generations - and charged the beast,” Demoman said, really getting into the story he was telling, ‘Leeeeet’s do iiiiit!’ he cried as he jumped, ready to slay her.  It was a slice that was talked about for years after; he drove his sword down with his momentum, taking her head clean off.  The beast’s lifeless body sank back down inta’ the sea, and her head lay on the deck with her tongue all flopped out funny-”

Pyro cheered as Demo described the scene, happy that the monster had been beaten and that everyone on the ship was alive.

"She was dead,” Demoman finished, “Defeated.  The team had won, conquering the beast with the only damage being done to the ship.  That was the best victory that they could ask for.  To celebrate, they sailed inta’ the nearest port and the Captain bought a round for the team.  After a fight like that, they deserved it.  Afterwards, after the ship was fixed, they sailed back out, ready to fight other monsters or pirate crew.  Together, they knew they could win.  And that’s the end of the story.”

Pyro burst into applause when Demo concluded the story.  That had been so wonderful, so touching, so perfect.  Pirates, action, adventure, monsters, a happy ending, they couldn’t ask for any more than that.

...Actually, no, wait. They could.

Leaning forward, they held their head in their hands, signaling that they were ready for Demoman to continue telling them stories about Tavish DeGroot and his prate crew.  They wanted to hear more.

“What’s with that pose?  Ye’ look ready to hear another,” He paused, sitting upright and looking up in thought, “Alright then, I’ll tell ye’ another, one more story.  So the greatest pirate captain ever, Tavish Degroot had heard that there was this blue navy ship, patrolling the waters for pirates, especially infamous ones.  And DeGroot and his crew were one of the most infamous crews this side of the Pacific, so they tried to be careful and watch their backs.  One day, they discovered that a navy ship was right on their tail, ready to pursue them as far as allowed, so Tavish cried out ‘lower the sails, and get ready to run, boys’, and, after the sails were dropped, the chase was on-”

Engineer, back from his trip, had been silently peering into the room, checking on Pyro and listening to the end of the last story.  He smiled at the scene that he saw, with Demo thrilling the firebug with an epic tale.  Both of his team mates seemed to be enjoying themselves, so he quietly closed the door again and walked away.  

He’d come by later to get Pyro.  But for now, since his team mates were having so much fun, he was going to let them enjoy their story time with Demoman.


End file.
